Whether its flakes, emotionally unavails, noncommittals, or excessively clingy types, the herds of unsuitable men and women out there can seem more infinite than the sea on the Titanic. But maybe it isn’t them; maybe it’s you. Do you really know what you’re looking for? Are you just attracting what you put out there?  To get what you want you’re going to have to get specific. Time to make a love list!

You know how you order the filet mignon at a restaurant, medium rare, with a side of veggies on the side? You need to be that specific with your love life too.

A love list is a list of traits you are looking for in a partner. Not just any list, like the kind you make to go to grocery store. This is a serious, hardcore, list of 100 phrases or words you want to see manifested in your perfect partner. OK, it doesn’t have to be exactly 100, but the point is to get really specific about what you want and not just dash off a quick note with the obvious descriptions like “tall, dark, and handsome,” or “sense of humor”. Tall, dark, and handsome and sense of humor mean different things to different people. Someone who is 5’1 may define tall differently than someone who is 5’9. So get specific! “Loves brewery tours” is better than “likes going out”.

Before you start making your list, make sure your heart is open, ready, and willing. Any latent jealousies or bitterness over the past, or irritation about how so-and-so landed the perfect partner is not going to help. The Universe dislikes negativity. Forget about what you don’t want, and focus on what you do desire. Do you want someone who is physically fit? The life of the party or reserved?  Do you want children? Are you highly sensual? A city person or a country heart?

But the key to a love list is to wish it the best and let it go. Don’t wonder how it’s going to happen, simply let the magic of the Universe take its course. Just like you don’t sit around wondering if the filet is actually going to get to you, if the waiter entered your order, or if the chef is going to prepare it to your specifications, you can’t worry about whether Mr. (or Mrs.) Right will turn up. You just have to trust in the Universe.

Most importantly, BELIEVE it’s going to happen! If you don’t, stop and wait until you do believe to make your list.